fighting the urge to find a way to justify a trip to northampton on june 13. john mayer at the ironhorse...but i will be strong. i can't. i have to work the next day. nonono. can't go.
MUST PACK!!!!

progress: 0 (at least i did not gain--plus it's night. one always weighs more at night)
i ache. deep down in my joints ache. longest shift ever at work today--it seemed it anyway. and now i am packing.
i despise packing. loathe packing with a passion deep in the pits of my soul. but i'm working on it, and hopefully i'll be close to done around midnight.
tomorrow i will be back at school.
happy happy joy joy. :)

progress: -3 (v.g.)
chopped hair again. :):):)
while getting hair chopped, ran into erin ward. have not seen erin ward since junior year of high school. it was random. i don't forget past burns.
went to lunch with cortni. :) black cactus $5 lunches are the best.

progress: 0.
i feel gross, i'm tired, and it's just been a long, lousy day.
that said, i was able to smile for a couple hours watching pbs. special airing of "anchors away"--1945 movie with gene kelly and frank sinatra. something about the opportunity to watch a movie that stretches so much to let kelly dance and let sinatra sing, and while it's so painfully clear, it just makes the movie that much more endearing. i loved it--even gene kelly dancing with a cartoon mouse. (although i think that if a woman gets to play sinatra's love interest, she should get more in the credits than 'girl from brooklyn'. but i digress).
now i'm going to do 50 more crunches and go to bed.

alright. so for awhile, i am going to be pulling my own "bridger jones"-esque deal here. because i'm not happy with some stuff right now, and i'm working on fixing it. and since this site is for me more than it is for anyone else, i will pull a bridget and discuss my successes and failures. but i'm sure as hell not posting my actual stuff, so i'll go off a plus/minus scale. plus for gain, minus for the optimistic losses.
so for now: 0.
long, long day at work today. hell, actually. but it's over and i only have two more shifts. i wore my new glasses today, it was interesting to see people's reactions. i think i've worn glasses one other time in my five-odd years at mcd's. these glasses are fun. :)
now i will watch the "special wedding episode" of friends and then tackle the ab roller thing again. i WILL beat it... :)

i had heard so much about this whole "lemon water" thing--think about it, i'm living with the lemon water queen this summer--that tonight at work i decided to give it a shot.
i'm thinking if i come to like it, it'll be an aquired taste. as right now, it tastes rather nasty. really rather vile, actually.
we'll see. the scary thing is that i'm still giving it a shot.
it smelly yummy though...

last night i drove home so tired i didn't think i'd make it. but i did, so all rejoice.
the tournament went well, lynch kept buying me smirnoff's, and his team won--a special feat considering they would head out onto the course with a garbage bag full of millers and coors. it was amusing to me.
i have to order cds from columbia house so i can cancel my membership...so i'm treating myself to jeff buckley's "grace" and ben folds five "forever and ever amen"--both albulms i should have bought long ago and for whatever reason didn't.
oh, and continuing the pattern of phs thoughts--ran into andrew's father at the country club. now if i were to just run into HIM, it would be perfect.

so how much do i feel like a heinous bitch? i visited my brother's girlfriend's website today, and she has a journal on it--and the whole "not coming up to tom's prom" issue was discussed. make me sound like a wench, why don't you??? i was in a bad mood. i already apologized, and furthermore, i thought what i vented to my brother would stay between me and my brother. so now, in eyes of the juliet for my brother's romeo, i'm a bitch. go me.
i am taking a mini break from the golf tournament. it's very very cold at the country club, and i wore sandals. but i rode the golf cart all over the place and lynch bought me a smirnoff ice because everyone else was drinking beers, and dammit, i'm 20.5 years old, so i wanted to round up to 21. :)
back to the club...this time in warm clothes. :)

you're growing up
and rain sort of remains
on the branches of a tree
that will someday rule the earth.

and that's good
that there's rain
it clears the month
of your sorry rainbow expressions.

and clears the streets
of the silent armies...

so we can dance.

- jim carroll, little ode on st. anne's day

alright, so i had a dream last night about andrew sutherland. today jeremy "sumo" jones came through while i was working. random proctor thoughts or visits...it's odd.
i must call cortni tomorrow.
i'm helping my father run his golf tournament tomorrow--i'm the official photographer. he told me today that i didn't need to help with it because another golfer signed up so he doesn't have to golf in it, but i told him i wanted to--he's been working on this for so long that i want to be able to do something to help him with it. i'm proud of the guy.
and he said i might get to drive the golf cart around to get good shots.
BONUS!!!!
for some reason, he was concerned i'd get his with a ball or something. should i be insulted???
c'est la vie, i need sleep. it's been a long day (but i got to close wash again--woo ha ha ha), and i will be waking up at som insane hour for the tournament. i love my dad i love my dad i love my dad...
g'night, sleep well.

howie has covered yellow.
even though he hasn't been my favorite subject as of late, that alone makes him a leeeettle better in my book.

oh, my other discovery today. guess who i'll be seeing at riverrave...

etherphyte dot com is down. i should have expected this, but for some reason, i assumed it would still be up for all of us to post things until rewt and distortedvision got to their new place in cali and posted themselves.
the scariest thing? just something silly like that finally made me realize that the seniors are gone. etherphyte being down (in addition to everything else with the seniors and whatnot) has made me start crying.
what the hell...?

so they went and graduated on me. bastards. ;)
it was a nice ceremony--i'm glad i went because now i have an idea of what to expect--always helpful. it was very difficult to see so many people i love accept their degrees and say goodbye--they've always been at st. mike's, at least as i see it. so having them be gone...it's rough.
but they left in high style. i viewed the ceremony over the closed-circut broadcast in mccarthy--before that started, i was outside to watch the procession go by. i got a lot of smiles and waves, and, to show that some things never change, caleb stuck his tongue out at me as he walked by. crackhead.
it was good to be there and get pictures and hugs and give good luck wishes. i will say that as much as i have had my issues with people (and a variety of them with a variety of people), i will miss having every single member of the class of 2001 around. everyone.
but special congratulations go to: jesse (to whom i said goodbye for the 50 millionth time today), heather, caleb, adam, rhonda, d-rod (sexy bitches!), shawnalea, sue, nick, ben (curly boy), lacey, nicole, corey, mike, chris d., kevin, shaun, kathleen, todd, brian, MARK, nate, seth, juuuuulie, and the other seniors i knew and loved but can't think of right now. i really will miss you all.
and now i'm a senior. scared me.