The life and times of an American college student struggling to get by, meanwhile discovering the meaning of life and writing the great American novel. It's me, enough said.

Saturday, January 20

chris topping is hilarious.
alright, so michelle, ryan, and i (under protest) were making phone calls last night. one led to two...two led to three...three led to chris topping. and ryan leaves this message saying how i want chris. i need chris. oh baby. oh baby. or something along those lines. i'm mortified by this, but i'm also drunk, so i think it's funny as hell. do i really want chris? he's a freshman (firstyear for michelle). but he's funny (he's in improv), and i knew he'd find the message humorous.
so i get home today from the bball game and dinner with michelle and my parental units and have a message from chris topping (michelle had yelled my phone number into the message). probably one of the funniest voicemails i have ever recieved. chris--sorry, i mean mohammed--was hilarious. and since "you i me" (this was all done in the funniest accent ever--michelle and i were shrieking with laughter), i called him back with my own interpretation. hopefully mohammed will call lakisha back so they can "have this do you have this sex? do you have information on how to have this sex...with you?"
and thanks to ryan, now i get a big funny smile from sean quinn. LOL.

i thought i'd feel like hell when i woke up, but nope, i'm fine. i haven't had that much fun in awhile--good times.

a hilarious evening was had.
i feel a hangover coming on already.
a man is found dead in a field. he's naked, and the only object in his possession is a stick. what happened?
oh, and phone calls are bad, but ryan o'sullivan is awesome. :-) it was a fun night...although i hate to see what andy, riggott, chris topping, and erik have to say about it...i know what sean quinn thought, so that one's all good.
good lord.

Friday, January 19

70s party at meg & kathleen's. heheheheheheheheh.
it finally feels really good to be back. about damn time.

ps. due to the memorial service and the fact that i feel i should really be here with my friends (they need me, and i'll sure as hell need them), no howie in boston for me. and considering the circumstances, i'm glad.

it's snowing. again (still, whatever you want to call it). i'm always one of the first to bitch when there's too much snow (cause then we have it until april), but i'll admit that i really enjoyed walking to work this morning. the cloud cover makes it warmer, and i do like the feeling of the little snowflakes falling on my face, and let's face it, while it's falling, it's really while i'm the pessimistic vermont winter-complainer, i will say that i do enjoy it from time to time.
it's friday. :-)
oh, and i feel a need to publish josh's latest mouse story...

Partie 4 V.I.B., birthday for Pooh

there was an event coming up. and not just any event. an event concerning a very importance personage, a V.I.B. you might say (very important bear). it seemed that none other than winnie the pooh was about to have a birthday.
well... this was an occasion for some excitement. celebrations were always a big deal to the mice who lived down by the river, and a birthday party for the respected old bear was indeed a cause for a celebration. so the mice began to prepare. there were really two things to prepare for, one was the journey. the mice, you see, didn't exactly live right on top of the hundred acre wood. in fact, they lived a good ways from it. not perhaps a long way if one were bigger, but certainly a long way for a mouse, (you must remember that mice have rather shortish legs). so figuring out how they were going to get to the party was the first order of business.
fortunately this didn't turn out to be nearly as difficult as they originially thought. see, like i mentioned, pooh was a VIB, so lots and lots and lots of animals were going to his party. chrisifur asked ma bell, who knew a bunch of birds who were going and quite willing to offer rides to small mice (provided the miced promised not to hold on too tight to the feathers during flight, that can pinch, you know), and losingfur asked shauna (what did i name that damn dog when i included her in a previous story?) who knew a whole pack of dogs that were willing to give rides to the larger mice. in short, with very little fuss at all everyone had a ride and was ready to go. i'll admit that perhaps some of the smaller mice had misgivings about the whole deal. particularly, it must be said, about meeting Owl, some owls do have a nasty habit of eating mice, (which makes them not only poor dinner companions, but also renders them in dire need of breathe mints most of the time), and despite constant reassurances from older mice that this Owl had no intention of doing any such thing, the little mice were, understandably a tad bit nervous.
the second major thing to take care of was pooh's birthday presents. and the mice thought it through very carefully and then decided on two presents for the silly old bear. the first was an obvious choice, honey. nor did the mice have any problem finding any, as there were bees not too far from the river. the bees didn't particularly care for pooh who took a little much of their honey on occasions and wasn't always so good about pleases and thank yous (plus they all remembered rather darkly the time he got his head stuck in their tree and blocked them from coming or going for several days), but they were on good terms with the mice (who don't really care much for honey), and decided that since it was pooh's birthday they could be nice to him, so they gave the mice a bunch of honey to bring to pooh.
the second present, and this was chrisifur's brainstorm, was a very carefully collected set of pooh sticks, each engraved with the words "To: Pooh, a Very Important Bear". This she figured would delight pooh, and would delight Rabbit and Owl as well, by giving each of them numerous opportunities to read the sticks aloud to pooh.
after the journey was set, and the presents were found and packed, then came what everyone agreed was the toughest part of the entire event...waiting for it to happen. the young mice especially were impatient (even those that were a little scared), every morning they would bound out of bed and ask "is pooh's party today?'. even the older mice were pretty impatient
well, finally the big day came, and the birds arrived and the dogs arrived and everyone packed up and got on, and off they went...
along the way they encountered all sorts of animals, squirrels traveling through branches (this was rather unnerving for those mice who were riding on the dogs because dogs have a tendency to chase and bark at squirrels when they get the opportunity), rabbits hopping through the forest, birds flying from all over, a deer or two bounding ahead in that hurried way that dear have, and a bear rambling behind in that very unhurried way that bears have. this was clearly going to be quite a party.
and it was. when the mice got there, animals were everywhere. animals of every type and kind and size. animals they knew and many many many animals
they didn't. all the animals were milling about outside pooh's houe, pooh himself had not yet woken up (the party was to be a surprise after all), having decided that it was his birthday and that, as such, as the birthday bear, so to speak, he was entitled to sleep in if he so chose. and he did so choose.
so all the animals were gathered around, wondering what to do, should someone wake him, or should they wait, but when would he wake up, he was sometimes tired, and could sleep late, but he often got a rumbly in his tummy that woke him up.
eeyore stood off to the side, and the mice encountered him as they entered the group. chrisifur of course, knew him from way back, and so went up to talk to him.
"what's going on? she asked
"the bear's sleeping, has been sleeping, will be sleeping, probably going to sleep all day, leave us standing out here"
"how long has everyone been waiting here?"
"all morning. probably wait all afternoon too. and i suspect it will rain on us before we're through."
"well, is anyone going to wake him up?"
"i dunno. they might. rabbit might be up for that sort of thing. i'd let him sleep. he might not like surprise parties after all. loud things they
and with that eeyore wandered off again.
right as he was leaving, the mice spotted another friend, this time it was the little bat they had rescued a while back, reunited with his family. (this reference would make more sense if i had ever finished the story about the bat) the bat was thrilled to see them, and he bore better news. pooh, he said, was about to be woken up. piglet and christopher robin had volunteered to do it.
and just then, they did. you could hear them knocking. all the animals were silent and you could hear christopher robin's firm knock followed by piglet's voice
"pooh? oh pooh bear? are you awake?"
"oh, it's you piglet" said pooh. "and who is that with you, is it christopher robin?"
"it is, it is" said piglet, who was trying very hard to control his excitement, but, being a very small animal, was having some trouble.
"we were wondering" said christopher robin "if perhaps you might like to join us for some breakfast, pooh. it is about that time after all"
"why yes" said pooh, "breakfast would be a fine idea, i was jsut thinking to myself, i said 'self, why don't you get out of bed and have some breakfast' and i was jsut saying back to myself 'self, i think that's a very fine idea, and what should we have for breakfast' and i was saying 'self, well, perhaps we could have some honey, if there's any left in the pantry, and maybe we could wash it down with, well, perhaps some more honey' and i was saying...."
well, pooh probably could have continued on in this vein for another half hour or more, but piglet, who was quite excited, squealed, "well, shall we go then?"
and pooh decided at that moment to pop his head out of his front door, and a ll the animals yelled "SURPRISE"
and a very stunned pooh ducked his head back in his door.
then poked it back out
this time he stepped out, and looked around very carefully...
"it's a birthday party, for you pooh" said piglet
"and all your friends are here" said christopher robin
"and we have presents too" added roo
"and perhaps some cake?" inquired pooh hopefully
"lots of it" they all said. and pooh came out to join the party.
the party went well, pooh enjoyed his presents from everyone, his pantry was stocked with honey for ages and ages hence. christopher robin had given him a balloon, owl had given him a card on which he had written "hapy birtdae, wol", which he proudly read to pooh, in case pooh didn't quite feel like reading it right then. eeyore had brought some of the finest thistles from his section of the hundred acres wood.
"probably won't want to eat them though, i reckon bears don't really like thistles"
and while it was true that pooh didn't feel inclined to eat the thistles he did decide to plant them right by his door because tey ere a pretty purple color and plus "that way eeyore, whenever you visit you can have a snack here waiting for you"
piglet had composed a hum for pooh, a special birthday hum, but when he tried to hum it for him, he got very embarrassed (being a very small animal in front of a very large audience) and promised to hum it to him later, "when there are less animals around".
the mice's honey was of course greatly appreciated, but the pooh sticks were an even bigger hit. pooh kept looking at them, and having people read them to him over and over, "Very Important Bear, by which they meant me, me being, a Very Important Bear" he was quite impressed. he insisted that after the party, the mice come up the the bridge with him so they could try the new sticks out in a game of pooh sticks, and chrisifur won twice and christopher robin, and losingfur each won once, and so did piglet and eeyore, but pooh, seeing as it was his birthday and they were his brand new poohsticks, won 3 times, and so was the poohstick champion of the day.
and so the mice went home, to snuggle up, quite worn out, in their little beds down by the river. but before they went, they sang one more time
"happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday, winnie the pooh,
happy birthday to you"

it's almost scary what a few years can do to someone...who woud have thought this would come from josh?? but he left out the flame roasted piglet portion of the story, therefore, i'm happy. (it's very scary being a Very Small Animal--damn, freshman flashback. odd.)

Thursday, January 18

alright. so i lost all my mp3s. all my shn files. all my papers. all my cam shots. everything.
but i got my burner back. and i can always write more papers and download more mp3s.
burner. aaaaaaaaah.

i miss lexi.
we selected pictures for her collage tonight. at random points, the five of us sat there in silence, each, i think, reflecting and missing.
but it felt good to have them with me. knowing that we all are going through the same thing, and knowing that we're here for one another.
what i would give to have her back, even if just for a second to see her smile in person and to hear her laugh somewhere other than in my head.

Wednesday, January 17

i'm sports editor. ROCK.
this will be fun. profile on mark pater, anyone?
heheheheheh...abusing my position already.
i love journalism.

Saurons9: i wonder if other people put cream cheese on their brownies
Saurons9: a blonde has run away, run amok.
Saurons9: a silence fills the crowd, an awed hush
Saurons9: a living spectacle, a real live legend.but what's on the other channel?
Saurons9: a puppy silently awaits a dinner that is not hers.
Saurons9: and watches in terror as it is eaten.
Saurons9: even though she already got half a brownie and chocolate isn't good for her
Saurons9: she gets a snack regardless
Saurons9: makes me feel bad for when i have kids though
Saurons9: can you imagine me responsible for what another human being eats and when?
Saurons9: poor kid(s)

have i ever mentioned that josh is on CRACK???

i played more because i didn't want to do work. but i did both--work and play, that is. i feel like there's a chunk missing out of my left index finger (i'm sure you all wanted THAT image, huh?) because of the guitar string being pressed into it so much...but such a feeling leaves me happy because it means that i'm practicing and i'll get better if i keep at it. i hope anyway...:-)
special thanks to joey for being a sweetheart tonight. :-) thanks hun, you're the greatest...

Tuesday, January 16

i can play the opening to watchtower. very poorly, but i can play something that can be indentified by the general public.
hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?
vampire boy called to cheer me up, which made me smile. it was nice to have someone who let me yell and scream and made me laugh at the end. for which i thank you, t.s (but guppies still bite!)
my fingertips are numb. i played more tonight (if that's what you want to call it) than ever before. i love the feeling of progress.
now, with determination to be in a good mood, i vigorously attack my assignments. i will not be a slacker this semester (although i did get my highest GPA ever during the semester in which i bullshitted the most...coincidence? i think not!). i will do my work. i will be diligent. i will possess good work ethic.
this will last a week if i'm lucky.

we have two new supervisors at work.
tony and eric.
yay tony!!! odd to see eric!!! but tony's only there for another couple weeks.
i wonder how long eric's there for. why is eric still there? and now adam's talking about wanting jeff's job after jeff leaves.
don't these people know that they're supposed to leave smc after they graduate?
but i'm really happy to have tony around for a bit longer. the eric thing is still out to jury. oddness.

oh. and i can't take pictures at the howie show. what the fuck?!? this did not amuse me whatsoever. "no recording devices. no flash photography. no non-flash photography." or as eric (i swear it's the name) at the box office said, "no fun. sorry!!!!" at least he was nice and made it clear that he knows it's a stupid policy.

i think what i need to do is hit the lottery so i don't have to worry about damn jobs. everything is overwhelming today. is it possible to begin mental regression about only one's job, and if so, at the age of 20?

i hate knowing what to do for computer problems--it's the most obvious thing in the fucking world--but i assume that it's something complicated instead of something simple...something simple like say the professor didn't rewind the damn i look like a jackass because i missed it.
dominic (tarot guy) said that by february, my love/hate relationship with computers will turn to hate. considering that my keyboard died and now i'm messing up random stupid crap, it's turned to hate.
and as i write that, adam makes the fan on this CPU go bazerk. YES I FUCKING HATE THEM NOW!!!!!

I can't sleep tonight Everybody saying everything's alright Still I can't close my eyes I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days Where have you gone? I get the strangest feeling you belong Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen? Why does it always rain on me? Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning I can't stand myself I'm being held up by invisible men Still life on a shelf when I got my mind on something else Sunny days Where have you gone? I get the strangest feeling you belong Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen? Why does it always rain on me? Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning Oh, where did the blue skies go? And why is it raining so? It's so cold I can't sleep tonight Everybody saying everything's alright Still I can't close my eyes I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days Where have you gone? I get the strangest feeling you belong Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen? Why does it always rain on me? Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning Oh, where did the blue skies go? And why is it raining so? It's so cold Why does it always rain on me? Why does it always rain...
- travis

They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more. If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm silent they think I'm ridiculous; rude if I answer, sly if I get a good idea, lazy if I'm tired, selfish if I eat a mouthful more than I should, stupid, cowardly, crafty, etc. etc.
--Anne Frank

Monday, January 15

oh, today's howie day's birthday...happy 20th to him...less than a week til the h.o.b. show...

alright. so i read doctor faustus last semester. and i saw it, thanks to shanendoah shakespeare (yeah clint!!!) i have nothing against marlowe. in fact, i thought he wrote a great play. but is it entirely necessary for me to have to read it for the umpteenth time? i walked into chief patterns II (chief pains II, as known by the regulars) and discovered my first assignment was to read faustus. do i need to have this thing memorized or what?!?!?!
personalweb is not allowing me access into my i can't change any of that. GRRRR...
but i can see that people have been checking out the site, for which i thank you!!! what do you think? who are you? let me know...i'm interested!

feeling a bit better--visits from fun people always help. :-) mad props to andy for making me smile for awhile.
my father rocks...talking to him always helps...i need to do that more often. :-)
now listening to radiohead and toad, thanks to the funny boy.

i will never take my keyboard for granted ever again.
alright, comments about the classes for this semester:
tv news reporting--nicole, brian, john, baz...and i like bob already. he'll be a good prof.
defender--i'm in for an experience. i'm thinking (hoping hoping hoping) a good one.
play prod--louns, petey, amaaaaanda, phyllis...and i'll only have it once a week. enough said.
chief pains II--kathleen, meg, liz, janet, justin, laundry, corey...i feel a bit intimidated at the moment, but i'll get out of that.
classes look good. a lot of work, but good.

but i don't see why anyone would want to deal with me right now, as i don't even like the prospects of dealing with me right now.
this is a weird semester already, and i don't think i particularly like it.
at least my classes are good.

Sunday, January 14

i cannot wait for tomorrow.

i'm already lamenting the fact that tv news reporting is at the ungodly time of 8:40 a.m., but brian's in it too, so at least it'll be fun. i hope...;-)

rock rock rock.
got onto chris' the "sympathy for the devil" cover ever, i tell you...

grrrrrrrr. why does no one have synthetic sixteen's "army ants" on napster? i'm trying to find it, dammit.
i'm tired. will crash soon. but must work on room. but will crash soon and downloading instead...grrrrr.
but it still feels good to be back. surreal as hell, but good, i think.