The life and times of an American college student struggling to get by, meanwhile discovering the meaning of life and writing the great American novel. It's me, enough said.

Friday, May 4

guster recognizes my fair city's appeal. rock on with your bad selves, boys. you made me proud. :)

i think my visor has become surgically attached to my head.

first drama club meeting a little while ago. i love discussing ACTF, especially planning for next year. so what if it's in january. thinking about it and talking about it makes it seem that much closer. whooah ha ha...
i know, i'm a pathetic theatre person.
i rather like it. :)

Thursday, May 3

it's hot and sticky here.
really hot and sticky.
we had no spring.

i had a dream last night that a traveling production of "terra nova" came to school, so i had a chance to meet clint. but it wasn't actually a theatre space at my school i saw the production at. they performed in the gym at my elementary school in proctor. anyone who's been in proctor knows why this is so odd--it's ridiculously tiny and there's no way a professional theatre production would be performed there. but nonetheless, it was my dream. and during the production, they pulled up four members of the audience, and one of the other actors chose me. so when it came time to announce who we were, clint was completely surprised (but in a good way), but then we were taken hostage as a part of the production...
it was a really odd dream. generally when i say i'm going to dream about the actor boy, i'm only joking.

officially six months until i can legaly walk into a bar and laugh because they can't keep me out.
just you wait, suckers, come november 3, the drinking world will be mine. ALL MINE.

feel free to send cards, gifts, or money my way so you can help me rejoice in the passing of the first half of my twentieth year. frolic and be merry. the big 2-1 is only six months away. start the countdown now...

i was crying tonight, i laughed so hard. liz, janet, dave, dan, and baz came over (new england wings as well--millions and millions of spicy wings were consumed by all), and we had a blast. the video camera was broken out, so the antics are now forever captured live and in color...well, until videotape becomes obsolete with the latest technological advancement, but that is another story altogether...
it was fun to laugh. i haven't experienced one of those laugh-so-hard-your-entire-existance-is-shaking moments in awhile.
spoke to the fam tonight, me mum was a sweetheart and said she and me dad had a wonderful time in d.c., roaming the city with their psycho daughter--it made me happy.
pictures came back today--at least roll one that is. roll two will be developed when i get home. they came out very well--my photo at the vietnam memorial is my favorite, the one of myself with the jfk bust the second best, because it shows exactly how massive the bust is--something i didn't even realize while i was there. for a simple point and shoot camera, my trusty photo-taker is very impressive.
still adjusting to life after actf--still feeling rather discombobulated--not completely comfortable back in my smc skin. everyone's got so much going on and i'm just kind of here. whereas a week ago, i had so much going on. a rather jarring experience, not a particularly pleasant one. and i want people to seem at least interested in what's going on with me, but if/when i'm asked, i have nothing to say. i'm just kind of here right now going through the motions and preparing to get the hell out of here for a short while. so i'm altogether a dull person right now to be around, yet i have a million different thoughts running through my mind that i am thoroughly unable to put into words.
i guess what it ultimately comes down to (somewhat repeating an earlier post, but suck it up and deal) is that the newness of d.c. was so fresh and enjoyable. and for the first time in my life, not knowing people was cool. because i was new to them too. and i didn't fit into any of the little roles i play here--not that there's anything wrong with those roles, for the most part i like them--but i was just new and people were interested in getting to know me. whereas here, since i've known the people for three years, they obviously know me (or know as much as i'm generally willing to share). which is a good thing. but it's just different.
i don't know, i was talking to k.c. the first night i was there, and i apologized in advance for my being shy, because in new situations, i'm always shy. and she looked puzzled and commented that i certainly didn't come across as shy. which made me happy. but now that i'm back here, i am shy when i completely shouldn't be. it makes no sense.
ultimately, it comes down to the fact that i knew people there were interested in hearing what i had to say. whereas here, i'm generally more of a listener. it's a role i've put myself in, and i'm happy to be that way. but it was nice to have that kind of a change and not feel as...just i've been here lately. a dash of adventure in my relatively routine little existance...
but hey. had fun today, had a fun evening, and went to the drama club picnic this afternoon. whether the democratic system is really fucked up or is pretty damn cool, i have no idea, but i am now the drama club vice president (JIGGA WHAT?!?! i've never won a fucking election before in my life and certainly didn't expect this to be the first), which is cool, and i got my own little special paper plate award. "most likely to succeed."
most likely to succeed, eh? at what??? the mystery of my future confounds me and leaves me pondering as i go to bed. tons of work to do tomorrow.

p.s. i love my guster shirt. yellow shirts make me happy.

Wednesday, May 2

it's scary to think that i'll be home in less than a week...and then back here in about two weeks for SUMMER BREAK!!!! very excited, the academic year needs to be over with already.

i'm now, thanks to last night, in full "it's summer and dammit i'm seeing a lot of shows" mode. i'm rather excited, thinking about it...
- river rave down at foxboro--Marilyn Manson, the Black Crowes, Live, Everlast, Eve 6, Lifehouse, Sevendust, Coldplay, Tantric, Stabbing Westward, the Cult, System of a Down, American Hi-Fi, New Found Glory, Dropkick Murphys and Cave-In.
some of these artists i've never heard of, and mr. manson rather scares the shit out of me, but nonetheless, sure to be a good day. and i'll finally see coldplay...
- dave matthews band at foxboro--enough said.
i don't know exactly what the deal is with warped this year, but hopefully that as well...and the random splattering of fun shows over the course of the summer. i'd like to try to find a howie show i could go to so i can see how his stuff has developed as of late...i will admit i really like the version of "everyone everything" with the band.

at about 4 this afternoon, michelle called me up and asked if i wanted to go to see guster at the flynn. i had forgotten they were playing tonight, so i was psyched.
yet another reason why the best plans are those that just sort of appear...the show rocked. theatre techie that i am, i found myself amazed by the light show presented...they had seven or eight of the moving lights we used for midsummer. i can only imagine how much they cost...and the cues were right on. so damn good. highlights of the evening were "demons" (during the opening strains of which i squealed like a teenybopper--not one of my finer moments), "barrel of a gun", and "parachute". during one of the songs, they created a whole night atmosphere--stars, cresent moons (a fabulous manner of utlizing those moving lights), and all.
i need more guster in my life. i very much enjoyed myself. great show, great times.
and yes, i was dopey, bought a tshirt ("and it was all yellow..."), and a poster for my evergrowing "wall of theatre and music stuffs". it's getting rather impressive, if i think about it...newest additions--guster and autographed marky ramone? not too shabby.
but every night now around 11, i just feel burnt out. so i'm going to sleep now because i don't have to be at work until noon tomorrow. smart me scheduling my exam hours. i get the gold star for the day.

Tuesday, May 1

i hate it when people are stupid and don't realize that they should save things to more than one location because murphy's law SHOWS that that one disk will be corrupt and you will lose your paper or your thesis or your presentation or whatever.

i want my pictures back. :)

just a mixup in the printed schedule because i wasn't here last week.

it's a beautiful day--sun is shining, warm breezes, and finals start tomorrow. i'll be out of here in a week. i don't feel like the semester should be over yet, and i'm finally starting to realize that my favorite people will be gone soon--jesse, heather, d-rod, mark, ben, amanda, nicole, mike--the list goes on. i don't want them to leave--will they all just fail a class so they can stay here with me one more year?!?!?

i walked into work today and saw that i wasn't assigned anything...was rather confused about it...still kind of am. but since pat's in a meeting, i sat myself down and am going to answer phones and whatnot until she gets back and i find out what the hell is going on.

ok, one more thing and this time i mean it. john mayer fans go here. i will say nothing else so i do not spoil the surprise.

one more thing before bed--special shout out to alicia--feel special. :) got your message, happy to have readers (i thought michelle was the only one!), and we'll definitely discuss the hd/jm thing soon, as soon as we're both at our computers at the same time. ;) tape will be sent out as soon as i have some free time, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN!!!! hehehehehehe
ps--just because i think there are diva tendancies doesn't mean i would pass up the chance if given, or at least i'd seriously consider it--i definitely understand you on that one!

oh yeah, and the fact that i saw a shakespearean show that encorporated the expression "mama mia" into it made the trip worthwhile just for that. ;)

it feels good to be home, but part of me really misses d.c. i loved feeling independent (cue destiny's child) down there, feeling like the city was mine to be explored and that i was in complete control. that there were adventures just outside my door. that, while i was alone in many respects, i didn't feel alone. i had my fellow critic people, i had clint (if our schedules would have lined up, that is), and i had my friends just a phone call away. i loved not knowing what to expect for once.
i'm happy to be back, i missed everyone so much, and i've felt very happy to have them back with me, but getting back into the grind sucks. i don't like having bullshit baggage from before i left coming back to me. i don't like having to answer to kirk about a paper i worked my ass off on so i could get it done in time to get to d.c. i don't like the fact that people who should care about what i did just not give a damn. i don't like feeling like i'm right back into the monotonous swing of things. that i go to work, go to class, write this, write that, in the same environment day in and day out.
besides, i'm exhausted, so i want invigoration...i want to go out into the outdoors and not know what i'm going to see or who i'm going to meet.
i think i definitely need to live in a city.
d.c.'s a good one.
much as i'm bitching, i'm very very happy to be home because my people are here. who i love and missed. especially michelle and becca, who have made me very happy since i've been home--cheered me up as i've been a zombie the last two days...
i just hate the fucking theatre department. fuck yous go out to kirk, cathy, and peter.
i should have skipped my last review and met clint.
i need to sleep. and dream of friday night, standing on the top balcony of the kennedy center, sipping red wine, eating off gold-rimmed plates, and gazing at the washington skyline as the warm breeze pushed my hair out of my face...
first roll of pictures come back wednesday. can't wait.

Monday, April 30

does this thing actually work?!?!?!?!