The life and times of an American college student struggling to get by, meanwhile discovering the meaning of life and writing the great American novel. It's me, enough said.

Saturday, December 9

i saw the most beautiful rainbow was unexpected because it's so cold, and both ends shot straight up into the sky like rockets, disappearing into the dark gray/blue clouds...i'd never seen one that appeared to have no arch to it before...i thought my eyes were playing tricks on me until someone else commented on the sight as well. it was amazing, and it provided me an opportunity to put everything that i was worrying about to rest for a few moments...i just observed it, for once in a state of peace and relaxation.
and then commenced running around like a chicken with my head cut off again. but i felt better. :-)

opening night for the senior sems went well...improv went really well. it was the first time i've ever performed theatrically in front of anyone before, and i wasn't too nervous, which was cool. i had a lot of fun.
got a dress for the formal's really cute, and going shopping for it boosted my somewhat low self-perception of myself. but just a little.
then went to the hotel to chill with michelle, rita, and aunt...i know it starts with a g. that was really fun, swam in the pool, relaxed in the hot tub (ah...), and stayed up til 3 something watching movies. saw "cyote ugly" and "bring it on". actually enjoyed both immensely.
coming home from the hotel this morning was amusing, rita was in the bevy at about 10:00 a.m. buying a bigass bottle of jose cuervo (for moi) and a big bottle of raspberry stoli (for michelle). it amused me.
equus rehearsal went well, i love everyone in the cast, we all get along really well, which makes me happy.
now i clean my room and prepare for the events tonight...with special appearances by caswell, cortni, and possibly shawn. yay! :-)

Friday, December 8

tony frightens me. :-)

i hoped and hoped that i'd be able to make it to brit lit on time. after all, last brit lit class i'll ever take...but nope, i was late. what a shock. kerry laughed at me and said "at least you're not in your pajamas..." could this be a reference to my attendance (in pjs with coffee in hand) to genres: film freshman year? i told her i'd seriously contemplated it, but that i'd look silly in theatre at 1 with my rubber ducky pajamas on...she laughed more.
i'm going shopping today for a dress for the social tomorrow night. hoping for long and black baby!
improv workshop today, followed by senior sems, and then kevin's going on a run and getting me a bottle of tequila. rock.

i am sooo impressed with myself. i sat down to write around 11:25. i wrote a six page paper and a two page response paper in an hour. I RULE!!!!!!

and i thought i wouldn't get it done in time. oh me of little faith.

Thursday, December 7


brain. not functioning. too little sleep. too much stress. too many stupid people. too many obligations.
hi, i'm doing well. hope everyone else is as well. drop me a line to say hello and tell me about your day. it would bring joy to my life. well, it would make me smile. :-)

the ad for improv that john and i did for vis comm looks amazing. we set it to guster's "barrel of a gun" and it rocks my post-teenage party world. and i'm even in it. :-)
working too much on the senior sem projects. too much.
have a final tomorrow. have i started studying yet? one guess.

Wednesday, December 6

waking up this morning was insanely difficult.
*whining commences*all i want is to get through the next 8 days so i can go home. i want to play the guitar and sleep in and see people back home and have no major responsibilities. is that so much to ask? *whining finishes*>
now i must prepare notes for my discussion of my at the moment nonexistant shamanism/jim morrison paper. ah, it will be a bullshit presentation...BS...the best skill i've picked up in college...

i was walking home tonight (around 12:45 a.m.) from the theatre when i happened across a plastic bag. and it was blowing in the cold winter breezes, seeming to pop right out of "american beauty". i had always wanted to randomly experience that.
but i was so worn out that it did nothing for me. dammit...
worked on corey and kevin/matt's senior sem projects today. with "equus" rehearsal before that, i was in the theatre from 4 p.m. til nearly 1 a.m.
it has been a long day.
i was supposed to do work.

Tuesday, December 5

i'm going to learn to play the guitar when i go home for break. i already have the guitar waiting for me, i might as well learn how! :)
whee...i'm so excited now.

i promised myself i'd be sleeping by 1 last night. well, i was in bed at 1:30, didn't fall asleep til 2:30. and woke up later than i'd expected today. i just have issues with sleeping at normal hours, apparently...
but i found howie's cover of "minarets" online. yeah baby.
and lots of other good stuff. granian, guster, etc. it was a productive night.
i'm wearing a skirt today, as well as shoes that make me sound like a horse as i go down the hallway. i feel like i've stepped out of "monthy python and the holy grain", i've got the coconut shells on my feet. :-)

Monday, December 4

eric is graduating on sunday. that feels odd. i don't know what i think about it. part of me thinks nothing, but obviously if i didn't think anything about it, i wouldn't be thinking about it.

and tony. :-( i KNOW i'll really miss him.

damn graduation.

this is very bizarre...i can't remember when the last time i started something this early was. granted, it's because i know i'm fucked for the week, but it just feels so...
two pages down, four to go.

THANK GOD. is bliss.

life is somewhat better. i decided to forget about actually reading the entire book of "moll flanders"--i'm going to to look up some notes on it. then watching the movie, then writing my paper (no, i'm not an idiot, i have to compare the movie to the book.) kirk, since he's a god, gave me an extention on my jim morrison/shamanism paper...and jon showed he's not a total prick by giving john and i an extra 36 hours for our ad for the improv group.
so now all i have to do is write the moll flanders paper, start the morrison paper, work on digital editing, and look forward to the open workshop for improv on friday.

if i don't go on a homicidal rampage, i might just be ok.

i said might.

i am ignoring the fact that i hate human existance and everyone needs to die, instead focusing on the fact that i've got coldplay on my computer. finally. and i have one more week of classes before exams, and then i'm gone on thursday. and then i don't need to deal with school for a whole, blessed beautiful MONTH!!!!

and i'll get to sing and dance and have a wonderful time in boston with howie day and pat mcgee band in a few weeks.

the light at the end of the goddamn tunnel.
i hope.

if people would just die already, life would be SO easier. less stressful anyway...


i have never been in such a great mood.

nothing like a bright cheery start to a monday morning to make my week get off on the right foot.

ah...i think i will run around the campus and hug my fellow smcers. we will all join in song and dance in rings about the christmas trees. it will be wonderful. lifesaver moments.

i'm too sarcastic for my own good sometimes.

i need to go back to bed.

i was getting ready to go to bed when i realized that i had a typo in my last entry. for some reason, i could not go to sleep until i had fixed it. i hate being anal about spelling--especially anal on something that i'm sure very few people (if any) actually see besides myself.

does anyone ever see my ramblings? let me know.

i saw this thanks to elizabeth--and i'm speechless after having checked it out. she said it best with "wow."

i am most impressed with static mind. i highly recommend it to any and all of you...if you're on the smc campus, i have them shared on the network. mojo is the magic name...
i've done a little reading, i'll get it done tomorrow. i hope.
i'm rather tired, so i'm goin to bed. sweet dreams everyone...
ps. howie webcast was remarkably short, yet very good nonetheless. it was cool to realize that i was singing along the same words as howie at the exact same time, even though i was in vermont and he was in chicago. made me smile, anyway...less than a month til paradise!!!!!!!! :)

playing--"mary jo"--belle and sebastian

Sunday, December 3

static mind is one of andrew's little babies--the andrew i graduated with from good ol' phs. i'm downloading some of the songs...verdict on them to come later.

playing--"the general"--dispatch

yeah baby.

two cool bands in one day...belle and sebastian and five for fighting...yay!
check them out!

i have a song on my computer that i think was co-created by the guy i knew for eons back home. i'm a little scared by it. but it's really funny--in a scary sort of way.
cortni and i used to say we were honorary spice girls...the song therefore terrifies me. *shiver*
i wonder if it really was him.
who knows.

playing--"song that jane likes"--dmb

*cue 70s porn music*

so...interesting exploits on the smc campus...who would have thought? may i extend congratulations to certain soon-to-be porn stars, although names will not be mentioned, so to protect the NOT-SO-INNOCENT!

and i thought it would be a dull weekend. ;-)

i finally raised the shades in my room and looked out...and i can see chris d. at his desk from my window. i need to tell him this. maybe we can play flashlight tag or something. riiiiiiiight. :-)

playing--"when doves cry"--ani difranco

i finally found belle and sebastian music today.

listen to it. it's wonderful.

and they have fun accents. :-)


"hey, i am downloading "sail away" by howie day, and it says it's a cover of david gray. who is david gray?"

i think i introduced a very deserving fan to david gray. go me!!!!

have i mentioned that everyone should listen to david gray?

oh! i heard from matt nathanson, he said he's going to try to make it to the east coast this spring. he said he's going to try to make it up to vermont and asked if i knew of any good colleges/venues to perform at...i mentioned smc and higher ground. i hope he can make it!

playing--"so much to say"--howie day

ok, so now i don't get to play on senior sem projects today.

i got the most random phone call ever today...all i have to say is "oh my god" as i laugh.
*hug* yeah baby!

i'm going to clean my room right now because it's in desperate need of it.
yeah yeah.

oh, my random rant: since i never have time to watch the news (always good for a journalism major, i know), i didn't hear about what was going on at home sweet home until last night. for all of you who think vermont's nothing but cows...crikey.
poor woman.

go to sleep already.

g'night. sweet dreams.

ps. joshua, you will be bitten. you can count on it. >:-)


it's 3:30 a.m. i'm on the phone.
sleep? no need for it.

i work on the senior sems tomorrow.
i adore jenn. thank you for such a fun evening at your place!!!