alright, take 2.

it's been a very stressful couple of days. well, actually a couple of weeks. i've felt like i'm being pulled in so many directions with all of my work and responsibilities and whatnot that i'm being emotionally torn apart. i don't feel like i've been able to devote enough time to anything i want and need to do, and everything suffers as a result.
it's been one of the most stressful times in my life.
with that said, i'm very happy about this evening.
i have been excited about the fact that sister helen prejean (of "dead man walking" fame) was coming to speak on campus since i heard about it. whatever i had scheduled for tonight, that was all going to be put aside to see her and listen to her story. i haven't been that excited about a speaker on campus in ages.
since baz had other engagements, i said i would take pictures of the event, so i went to mccarthy with the intent of snapping a few pictures up front and then returning to my seat for the rest of her talk. as i crouched in front of the stage awaiting her speech, they requested that people who didn't have seats please feel free to sit on the stage. a small, older woman went to the mic and encouraged it as well, and i realized it was sister helen. she patted the stage space to her immediate right as an invitation for anyone to sit up there as well, so i jumped up and sat there. i was (in my own dopey way) thrilled to be next to such an important woman.
she tapped my shoulder and asked who i was, and i told her my name and that i was from the defender and that i was thrilled that she was here tonight. she smiled and said, "hi, i'm helen", and i shook her hand. i'm pathetic in many respects, and i know that, but just to have had the opportunity to let such an amazing woman know that there was a vickie welch out there who greatly respects her and whatnot made me very happy. i feel like if i am able to live my life (in whatever direction my life happens to go) with the passion, dignity, and beauty with which she lives hers, no matter what happens, i won't be able to be anything but proud of myself. she spoke for ninety minutes, and i was blown away. she is a natural storyteller, and her friendly demeanor and warm, rich new orleans accent draws you in so much that you hope she'll never stop talking. i am so happy i went.
so after her talk, i went to alliot to see matt nathanson perform. i was very excited because i arranged for matt to be able to perform here. i told him about the venue, i set him up with who he needed to talk to--it sort of felt like my own little baby project. only not really because it's ian and jillian's...but whatever. only 15 people showed up. if sister helen hadn't been here, i honestly think he would have had a much larger crowd. but it was small, and i felt badly enough about that, and to make things worse, it was his birthday. i felt like a tool. but then i realized that those who were there really enjoyed his music and it was a great opportunity to hear him play and see his live show.
after his set, i spoke to him briefly and introduced myself, so he could put a face with the emails, and he was very nice. he was packing up when a group of four wandered in and jokingly asked if he'd play a song since they missed the show. matt pulled out his guitar and we (10 of us, i'd say) circled up in couches and chairs and he played for awhile longer. i requested "maid", and he did an amazing rendition of it. i'd say i preferred the second set because he sounded fantastic unplugged and completely accoustic. there's something about someone who can just sit down, strum a guitar, and sing that amazes me...even more so when there isn't anything electric (mics, amps, what have you) around. he also played "wings" for michelle because she missed it during the first set, which i thought was awesome.
it's just been a very good day, and i'm finally in a good mood. i've been thinking a lot more about different issues and allowing what used to be random thoughts to linger for awhile in my mind. it's been good...michelle got me thinking about my progression and personal growth since i got here, and i think that over the course of three years, i've finally managed to figure out that my life doesn't have to be perfect. and if it isn't perfect, i don't have to try to act like it is. my life's never been perfect, it'll never be perfect, and i don't want it to be perfect. if everything's roses, why bother living? i'd have more issues with a perfect life than my somewhat-screwy-always-a-new-twist-around-the-corner form of existance. and frankly, i like said existance.
and i just need sleep cause my mind's all wandering.

test. fucking test.
i just wrote a damn book on here, and it didn't post. GRRRR.

i hate inanimate objects.
last night, after the first bit of tech for "working", i was walking over to the stage management table to strike the headsets for the night. i don't know how i did it, but i ran into the first chair in the row and gave myself a huge, ugly, painful bruise.
yes, it was a blonde moment.

so tonight there was supposed to be a performance of "the vagina monologues." i was greatly looking forward to seeing the performance, as it was supposed to be steph kennedy's senior sem (and she's great), and because i've heard so much about the play.
it was cancelled.
today.
because steph didn't get the rights to perform it.
i have three opinions on the matter. first--if steph just didn't bother getting the rights, i have to wonder what the hell is going on, because anyone associated with theatre (let alone a major) knows you have to get the rights.
second--if it was something that she was supposed to get help with, then i wonder what was going through peter's mind (since he's the senior sem prof)
third--if it was like ACTF and she applied for the rights and got screwed over by the publishing agency, i officially hate the red tape associated with theatre. that happened to kathleen, to chris, AND to amanda when they tried to get the rights for their monologues so they could compete.
i'm upset...i was really looking forward to it.

everyone's going through housing selection tonight--once again, may i just state that i LOVE the fact that i never had to deal with that in my four years here? :) 200s are looking mighty fine to me...:)

there are little snowbursts today. i'm not a fan. i'd like some sunshine and melting snow, please.
i woke up this morning at the last possible minute and threw on clothing, tied a bandana on my head, and began trudging to class. i thought since i was running late, everyone with 10:00 classes would already be on their way there.
i seem to always manage to wind up behind mark. this time he was walking with brian.
i managed to hide so he wouldn't see me. i seriously looked like the walking dead.
i just want to get my research done for the kirk paper, go to cumby's for some sugar burst, come home, and sleep.

fun websites for your eyes:
noah bastian's site (the good looking guy from 2gether)
planetjulie (from RWNO)
princessmelissa (from RWNO)

i'm back in the swing of theatre rehearsals...this time, it's good ol' "working".
chris maloney has a wonderful, amazing, beautiful voice.
yet another reason why the bastard's just about perfect... :)
huge controversy within the buzzing ranks over if howie went to the oscars. meanwhile, i have just learned that since howie's asking price went up, he'll no longer be playing the coffeehouse...
BIG FUCKING GRR!

BLECH.
that is what i have to say about using quark on yet another sunday for yet another layout of yet another defender.
BLECH.

the murder mystery is all done and whatnot--at least round 1...i don't know if we'll be doing another performance, but it went well. it was a lot of fun, and people in the audience got into it!!! they were obnoxious at times--i think the funniest was when i had to hug albert (stefan), and the table nearby burst into squeals of "OOOOH!!!" it was so hard for me not to burst into laughter. everyone would pull me aside and say things like, "CARA! sit down! we have a few questions for you--like if cordelia is actually ALBERT'S? come on, don't try lying to us, we know!"
i think the best question was from rita--"hey cara, know these condoms you have hanging up here in alliot--does albert fit them?" i love rita.
and i got to slap my father for accusing me of being an adultress. ;)
all in all, i was very happy with how it turned out--other than louns, who will be beaten profusely tomorrow for messing me up. i had to act distraught because my husband had just died, yet he's spouting things like "my name is dr. corneilius von baron von mindbender the fourth, thank you. yes, i'm a psychologist also. no, i didn't go to school, i just wrote up a diploma and bam! i was in business."
bastard. ;)